i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
