I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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