great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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