This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
