she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was like eating out sand paper
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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