his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
