I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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