She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
