This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
