The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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