would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
