i think my tv is drunk
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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