I want to have your abortion
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
3pm strippers are depressing
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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