You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize