apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
