she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
