I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
