only if we run a train.
done.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
