How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize