You just made me feel so damn special
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
