Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I am morally bankrupt
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize