Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
