One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
