So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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