your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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