she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
