how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
