Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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