The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
