The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
