Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the day after is always just damage control
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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