i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
