Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
