It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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