why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
