return my video game
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
