i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize