4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
