She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
be right there i have to get my cape
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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