I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
