I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
