I am puke
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
