butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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