i was born a porn star she said
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
