I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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