Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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