Kiss
Puke
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
