My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
