I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
