do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
