He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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