like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
