Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
