Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize