He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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