More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
