girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
