what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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