someone threw a dead crab at me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
