Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
