I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
