Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
