I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
