His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
