My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize