If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
