Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
