are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
